he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
