im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
