We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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