when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Randomize
