Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
only you would photoshop your dick
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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