he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize