OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
