Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Randomize
