remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
