If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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