my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Never underestimate the power of titties
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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