Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Randomize
