He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
