I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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