shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
