those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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