You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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