so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
