I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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