She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize