They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I came so hard my ears popped.
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