chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
