i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
