What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
