Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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