I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
