i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize