I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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