Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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