Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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