It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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