and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
