Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
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