He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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