Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
