Non-Jews are for practice
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
