I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize