jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Randomize