dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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