Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
