sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
