shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
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