I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
