im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
How external is "for external use only"?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
