he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
