I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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