Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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