thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
