Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
