Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
