So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
