If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
