Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
