we have officially lost it.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
