Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
True but thats because hes a fetus.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
