Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
did you just send me my own nude
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
He did a backflip because drugs
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
