Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
