It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize
