i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
