It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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