i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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