Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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