i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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