at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
birth control should be required to get into college
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Can I color on your dick again?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize