The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
