Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
The power of my boobs compel you
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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