My brain says no but my pants say off.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
