Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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