Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
