"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
