Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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